I had my 35 week appointment today and it went really well. The baby’s head is down (good boy!) and the next time I see her I will be full term and ready to go anytime (!!!!!!). Strangely I really look forward to our visits. We have 2 midwives at the practice and due to scheduling I saw the same one the past 2 times I went so when we walked in today to see the other I said “Haven’t seen you in a while!” and she said “I know! I’ve missed you guys!”
A lot of people are surprised when I say that I have a midwife. The #1 question I get is “Are you delivering at home”
Um, no. A very very very small percentage of births with a midwife are at home. Mine doesn’t even offer it.
I think there are so many misconceptions in the role and training of a midwife that it is somewhat scary to me.
When we told our families I was pregnant and that we chose a midwife someone even remarked “But you have a doctor too, right?”
No, we do not have a doctor .
If you asked me what my plans were if I got pregnant a year ago I’d probably tell you that of course I’d have an OB and bring on the drugs. Why not, right?
When I heard my friend Christine was using a midwife I started to really look into my options. I realized that the main difference between midwives and doctors were just the style of care they provide. Midwives believe that birth is a natural process and it should be treated as one. They take less patients and are able to spend more time with you and do not treat you like a name on a chart. I’ve been to the ob/gyn before, I had a pretty good idea what I’d be getting at an OBs office. I really, really wasn’t feeling comfortable with that.
At our first appointment with my midwife she did all the normal things you’d expect (bloodwork, urinalysis, exam) but also talked to us about our lives, families, jobs and what we could expect over the next few months. We were there for almost an hour and a half. 90 minutes. I think most people’s experience with their OB is about 9 minutes.
Here is a bit from my midwives’ website
“Clementine Midwifery and Natural Birth is a unique family-centered practice serving women throughout New York City. We created Clementine because we wanted to work in a practice where trust in birth, respect for women and compassion are guiding principles.
We offer personalized, unhurried prenatal and gynecological care in our Park Slope office. We make ample time to listen to your questions and address your concerns; this is the heart of midwifery care.
Pregnancy is not only a physical event; it can have a profound impact on relationships and it often changes the way women see and understand themselves. Our holistic care includes lots of emotional support and recognizes the importance of all aspects of your experience.”
Who wouldn’t want these women to help bring your baby into the world??
At the time, the #1 reason I wanted a midwife is NOT because I wanted a natural birth, I hadn’t even thought about it. That is another misconception I have encountered, that they are all against drugs and if you go to a midwife you are obviously some kind of hippie birth nut. Just like doctors every midwife is different and mine shares with me the idea that drugs and interventions are great when they are necessary, that’s why I am giving birth in a hospital.
The main reason I wanted a midwife is because being pregnant is scary! I just wanted to not feel scared at my appointment. I wanted to feel that my voice was heard. I wanted to be part of the process, and not be told what to do (shocking, I know). That is just not the typical OB style, Many OBs go by routine, they have more procedures in place and less individualized care. I’m an individual dammit and what worked for the girl before me will probably not work for me.
I think there is an idea out there that midwives are not as experienced as doctors when it comes to pregnancy and labor, this could not be further from the truth. Midwives have more training and probably see more normal, vaginal births than most OBs. They are not trained for surgery, that is the only thing they cannot do which is why they work with OBs as a backup during labor.
3 people I know gave birth last week, with 2 having emergency, unplanned c-sections. That is a post for a whole other day so I will spare you but at this point, I have done a ton of research and I am hoping to have a birth that is as intervention free as possible. I know I have never done this before and no one knows what will happen. I know that I am not opposed to an epidural if the pain becomes something I really can’t handle or if it’s suggested because I’m so wound up that I’m stalling labor. I do believe it’s better not to have one, but I also know I tear up when I take off a band-aid. I am happy that I am working with a doula and took the time to learn other means of pain relief to try first. If I do end up with one it will be a decision I do not make before I walk into the room because I’m scared of pain I have never experienced. I will obviously have a c-section if I believe there is a medically necessary reason but thankfully it’s not going to be because my care provider has a golf game at 11 or has to get to his kid’s dance recital. Alot of people say “All that matters is a healthy baby” but even though that is the most important thing, it is not the only thing. I matter too.
So we’re really concerned with getting the baby’s room ready, CAN’T YOU TELL??
Isn’t that bare lightbulb dead sexy. And don’t you just adore that black pipe in the middle of the white wall?? So special. It really makes me wonder what the heck the people who lived here before us did day in and day out. Don’t worry, I am compiling a list of grievances and will share with you all. Know this – they did not have a doorbell. Ok.
(note to self – add put up ceiling fan to the to-do list)
We’ve pretty much been using it to store all the baby stuff we have, plus 2 old dressers, a cabinet and a sideboard currently listed on craigslist (lots of interest on one of the dressers, hopefully selling it tomorrow!) Also those kitchen cabinets we took down that need to go to storage…lets see, what else…3 boxes of toiletries I’m supposed to be unpacking, oh and a bunch of old funky (read: NASTY) shelving we replaced and need to put out on bulk day or give away for free. Who has that kind of time?
So yeah. The black hole. Its sort of the bottom of the list in regards to unpacking.
My dad is coming in 2 weeks to help us finish up last minute projects before the baby comes so hopefully the little dude will not be too early. I know he’ll probably be late but one can dream.
Its not as if we haven’t done anything, I have been working on accumulating some items for his room for months in the event we actually do get around to setting it up.
Since these items are stored in many different places including:
somewhere in that scary scary room
our storage unit 15 minutes away
sitting unassembled in a very heavy box from ikea
the store we are intending to buy said item in
randomly on top of my dresser cause I’m scared I’ll lose it
I decided there was no way I’d be able to choose a paint color without doing a mood board of sorts so VOILA! My first attempt at mood boarding via digital scrapbooking.
So yeah. There’s no theme and no real rules except “no pink”. Other than that anything goes. We got animals, we got sports, we even have cars/planes/boats in the form of some wooden toys I bought to display. I guess the main colors are blue and brown with green, brick red, and yellow accents. I’m also thinking about covering up the bottom of the crib if I can do it creatively and still use the drawer (I think some sort of decoupage fabric action, need to do more research but stay with me here). We aren’t planning on setting that up until the end of the summer at the earliest so I have some time to look into the options.
I think I’ve mentioned that we are not spending a fortune on the baby stuff. Mostly because (I’m cheap) we have no room for anything, and (really, really, cheap) please – I just got bedroom furniture that we did not have to assemble ourselves last year, he can live with Ikea/craigslist/stuff we found around the house. So much is borrowed and what isn’t…well…doesn’t need to last us for a lifetime.
We decided to have 1 splurge item in honor of the baby’s arrival – a glider, and if you know me at all, you know I’ve spent months searching for the exact one I want. Since its going in the living room and I’d like it to fit into our lives for a good long while I have been being kind of picky. Plus, OMG even the ugly ones are outrageously priced! I refuse to spend any of my hard earned money on something ugly and shabbily put together. Well the clock is ticking and with 5 weeks till my due date I have been getting a little nervous that we wouldn’t have one while the babe was still a babe.
I saw this one on a decor blog a while back and today we finally hunted one down to try out in person.
The above pic is the exact color option and style we chose. I cannot wait for it to arrive in 4-6 weeks! From Canada! Where it is being custom made just for me! Hopefully it gets here before Cupcake but its really down to the wire. I’m not holding my breath.
Yeah, we also got the ottoman. But pregnancy is hard work and hot damn, I earned it!
