parental ramblings: sleep

November 16th, 2009

I cannot count the amount of times people told me to enjoy my sleep while I was pregnant and to “store it up!” Boy, did I want to punch someone. (attn readers: I hate cliched advice) I mean I know babies don’t sleep much, and are up around the clock in the beginning. I’m no fool. I read a lot, I talk to a bunch of different people and they all say the same crap. I got it. Well I thought I got it. The thing they (THEY) don’t tell you is that babies cannot put themselves to sleep at all. I mean maybe They told you but They did not tell me. I keep thinking it’s gonna kick in but it hasn’t. Sleep deprivation is no joke. Its really no wonder that they use it as a torture device. I think its completely possible that I have not slept more than 6 consecutive hours since April? Maybe one night in May. It’s torture! I am a former champion sleeper. 8hrs minimum to feel ok, 10 preferred. I just never understood people that say “I woke up at 8 and then couldn’t go back to sleep” On a good day I could go back to sleep until 2. Don’t even get me started on my best friend the nap. J’adore!

Asher is such a good boy. Everyone always comments on how happy he is, how great he does with people, how little he fusses when we are out and about. And they are right! He’s a happy guy. He loooooves people. He is so happy to be awake that he is the life of the party until he is exhausted and there is a fine, fine line. He just hates sleeping. He does not want to miss the action. Who knows what he thinks we are doing in the living room (answer: folding laundry; making dinner; trying to catch up on project runway) but he sits up for hours pondering this while screaming his head off. We are really struggling with sleep over here and it’s finally starting to break us.

Let me give you the backstory: When Asher was about 6-7 weeks old he started sleeping from about 11 or 12 until 6 or 7. That is what’s considered the very allusive Sleeping Through The Night. While he was still up more or less until 12am we didn’t know how good we had it. When we went to Florida at about 12 weeks he started waking up once a night, which we figured was due to unfamiliar surroundings but still completely manageable (continuing with with the 7p-12a fuss fest). Once we got home however he plunged right into a growth spurt and was up for hours every night just eating and eating and crying and crying from pure exhaustion.

Conveniently for Matthew he was in Chicago the whole time. When he returned the wakings didn’t stop, and Matthew’s work schedule was just as bad as if he was away, then he went away again. He was just up all the time, at all hours of the day and night crying and crying. I think part of this is that he refuses to nap outside the house. Its just sooooo exciting watching me drink coffee or waiting in line at the post office or walking through the supermarket (that one’s his fave) I mean normal babies sleep in the stroller or carrier right? I guess it could be worse. Some moms have kids who will ONLY sleep on walks or in the carrier.

Related aside: The other part is that he seemed to get really gassy lately and constantly needed to burp which had been waking him up every 15 minutes sometimes. He was obviously in pain so we talked to the pediatrician. She recommended giving him baby acidophilus so we started that anytime he had a bottle (every other day?) I read that dairy could be an issue so I cut down on dairy and it stopped immediately. I’m not going to get into that now but I think it did affect his sleeping for the better.

Last weekend Matthew was in Boston finishing up something like an 18 day work streak and I was home with the babe counting down the minutes until his blissful (for me) return and subsequent day off. Saturday night Asher screamed for most of his usual 7p-12a then woke up at 230a and would not go back to sleep. I tried everything. Rocking, nursing, swing, crib, bed, crying, shushing, sitting next to him, sitting in the other room, music, white noise, quiet, pretty much any and all combinations you could think of. I mean he wasn’t even crying most of the time. He was LAUGHING. (at me??) He was so happy to see me he just kept smiling and laughing. Both adorable and infuriating. I’d put him in the swing to settle him and he’d scream. Like wide open mouth no sound screams. My frustration level was about as high as it can get. At 5:30a I was at the end of my rope and I called Matthew in Boston for advice/complaining. When we were talking I realized it was the MORNING and he could just come home now! I said “Its the morning! Can’t you just come home now?” and he did. He got his ass up and showered and got on the next train and was home by 11:30a.

Well he ended up having the week off and we kicked it into high gear. More naps, longer naps. Oh you slept 45 minutes and you want to get up, too bad! Bedtime routine moved to 6, forcing Asher to spread out his nighttime feeds. On the first night we did this it was awful, on the second night he slept from 6:30p-1:30a straight for the first time ever. Since then he’s been asleep around 630p, up from 730p-930p crying and complaining but then out until 2am and up again around 630a. This crappy schedule is actually progress. We’re hoping the evening fuss fest gets shorter and shorter until he sleeps through that, then we will make a new goal.

We aren’t really getting much more sleep, I guess I could if I would go to bed at 9 but we’ve been eating at 9 since that’s when he usually falls asleep for real. I haven’t watched tv in weeks, just what I can manage on my computer so as to not wake the monster precious sleeping baby.

Some people say its a phase at 4 months due to all the learning and growing. Having the knowledge helps for sure, but does not make it any easier to wake up in the middle of my sleep cycle over and over again. I know he’s still a little dude, and one that’s breastfed. He’s going to need to eat in the middle of the night. That’s OK. This morning when Asher was up for the day at 5:15 after going back to sleep at 2:30 as Matthew put it “5:15 is not OK” Its not OK for him and its not OK for us. So we’ll keep at it.

Entry Filed under: Raising a kid