After he mastered that we moved on to “all done” when he finished eating and he’s been using that a lot too.

This week’s project has been “more” and not just for food.

We  try to do it during playtime and while reading books, anything really. He’s catching on but still a little confused as to when he’s supposed to use it. Its thrown a wrench into his basic signing skills but i’m sure in a few days time he’ll pick it up and we can move on.

After about a zillion attempts I caught him on video tonight. Yes, he is signing for food when what he really meant was “I’ve had enough of this here chicken and would like the server to bring out my next course please”

Asher signs during dinner from bhkart on Vimeo.

Eh, close enough. Its a bit of a work in progress but its working! If you watch that video you’ll also get to see some of his smooth dancing skills and the funny way he tries to blow a kiss. From the top of his head.

Trying to decide what to tackle next. Maybe milk or water. If anyone has suggestions i’ll take em.

“a new study published in Pediatrics, researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children’s short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run…The reason for this may be that spanking sets up a loop of bad behavior. Corporal punishment instills fear rather than understanding. Even if children stop tantrums when spanked, that doesn’t mean they get why they shouldn’t have been acting up in the first place. What’s more, spanking sets a bad example, teaching children that aggressive behavior is a solution to their parents’ problems.”

Time Magazine Article

The article is worth a read although honestly, this is not news. Parents spank because it is easier than arguing. It relieves frustration in the moment, and teaches the child nothing except that it is ok to hit someone else when one is frustrated.  We have all seen Supernanny. It can take a parent HOURS to deal with a disobedient child without spanking them. I would think any child is worth the effort it takes to communicate about consequences and personal responsibility at a level they can understand.

We were invited to the Levi’s again and had a great time. We got there at Asher’s bedtime and the Best First Passover EVER Picture was taken about 90 minutes after that. Take note of the rare blog sighting of “mah sooooother”  trying its best to keep the status quo. About 4 minutes later he completely lost it and was sent to bed. The poor little soother can only do so much in the way of miracles, ya dig?

Hopefully next year he can make it a little longer, at least until the matzo ball soup is served.

(So I can eat his)

Cannonball!

When Asher was 2 weeks old we went to see her in her lovely house not far from here. I wasn’t having problems breastfeeding but I figured it couldn’t hurt to make an appointment, at least she could confirm if what I was doing was right. I mean how would I know?

We were sort of winging it, my boy and me. Matthew tried to help with tips he remembered from the breastfeeding class we took. Asher was gaining weight, and peeing and pooping and in those early days that’s all that matters.

But off we went, because really, what else did we have to do? Asher was my job those first few months and I take my job very seriously.

Apparently we were doing just fine. Imagine that.

We did just fine for a long, long time. He hadn’t had formula until I found out I was going back to work at about 5 months. We just never needed it. He started on 1 bottle a day, upped to 2 when I began going into the office and when I realized I’d be traveling I added yet another bottle so I could save what I pumped in the freezer for my trip.

By early February I only nursed him 2x a day (AM/PM) and over the last few weeks he decided that he’d rather hang out and chat in the evening so that is what we did. Then I was down to just an AM nursing session. Its a pretty sweet schedule compared to the summer.

I spent the entire month of August nursing. Really. Ask anyone who came to visit.

As Asher turns 7 months old today he has also decided to stop nursing. He is done.

Its not even a supply issue, he just has no interest. It started back in December, or really earlier. He always disliked nursing because he would much rather face the world than the underside of my shirt. From very early on I pumped like a madman so he could have a few bottles a day. I guess you can say we both felt equal indifference to the mother/son bonding opportunity.

I went away for a few days and when I returned last week he acted like I was crazy, what was I doing? Where is his bottle!?

Of course I could have forced the issue, and if I was home with him I’m sure it would have been prolonged a bit but that’s not how it played out.

Am I OK with it?

That’s what everyone wants to know.

Yes. I am. It was his decision and it is nice not to have to worry about weaning.

It is nice not to have to worry about my boobs.

It is nice to have a bit more free time together to laugh, play, cuddle and kiss.

I am just maybe the tiniest bit sad that he isn’t getting the breastmilk anymore, since I really believe in its benefits. I was hoping to have at least 1 of his feedings be milk for the next few months.

It reminds me how little say I actually have in his choices. Its a reality check for sure. A good one.

He has his own thoughts and ideas.

I am just his mom.

Not really.

2010 has consisted of:
1-all of us being sick at once. then again (matthew) and again (poor matthew)
2-me going back to work (at an office!)
3-figuring out childcare (still working on it)
4-falling asleep at 830pm (me, not Asher)

and that’s pretty much it.

We fed Asher his first taste of solids today. I recorded it for your viewing pleasure.

Asher eats rice cereal from bhkart on Vimeo.

That’s the plan. I am very comfortable with it. As recent as a few weeks ago I had been telling anyone who asked that I’m taking off until after Christmas and then I’ll start making calls, update my resume, etc. When I get a job I get a job and there you go. In the meantime I’ve been deciding what goofy baby class we’re going to sign up for – and I re-upped my work out baby sessions for January and February.

I got a call last week out of the blue for work. Didn’t even have to send a single email. The best part is that its with a place I’ve never worked with before which is exciting and meets one of my 2010 goals AND ITS STILL 2009. Did I mention the part where I didn’t even have to stop watching Oprah during naps and concentrate on updating my resume. Its pretty sweet.

Unfortunately the job starts Jan4. ACK! That is so soon. I decided it’s ok, its only a month sooner and I’ll just take it. Then after thinking about it I got really overwhelmed at getting everything together with Matthew away (he was in denver for 2 weeks) So I wouldn’t take it because I can’t imagine finding a nanny so quickly on top off all the other things I’d have to do to prepare to go back to work after 8 months and it was Just Too Hard. Then I’d only take it if I could work from home since I won’t have to buy work clothes that fit or worry too much about nursing. Then I agreed to meet the producer to see if he actually wanted to hire me.

What? I just like to have it all planned. Plus Asher is sleeping a bit better and I am running out of things to obsessively worry about.

I met with the Producer last week and sort of decided to take it. Its NOT working from home but its a bit flexible with my work hours in case I need to leave to meet the nanny or go to an appointment. I may/may not have to travel but we can figure that out.

We also decided to wait on the nanny until after we get back from Vancouver. Matthew doesn’t have anything booked the first week of January so we have a little extra time, plus we’d rather do it together.

In the meantime I’m still waiting for confirmation on the project – they sent me vendor paperwork (good) but I don’t have a start date (not so good) and we haven’t agreed on a rate (blergh)

Since I wasn’t planning on going back so early I can sort of take it or leave it. I’d definitely rather not work but its only a 6 week job and then I’m back to hanging out with my best guy.

I cannot count the amount of times people told me to enjoy my sleep while I was pregnant and to “store it up!” Boy, did I want to punch someone. (attn readers: I hate cliched advice) I mean I know babies don’t sleep much, and are up around the clock in the beginning. I’m no fool. I read a lot, I talk to a bunch of different people and they all say the same crap. I got it. Well I thought I got it. The thing they (THEY) don’t tell you is that babies cannot put themselves to sleep at all. I mean maybe They told you but They did not tell me. I keep thinking it’s gonna kick in but it hasn’t. Sleep deprivation is no joke. Its really no wonder that they use it as a torture device. I think its completely possible that I have not slept more than 6 consecutive hours since April? Maybe one night in May. It’s torture! I am a former champion sleeper. 8hrs minimum to feel ok, 10 preferred. I just never understood people that say “I woke up at 8 and then couldn’t go back to sleep” On a good day I could go back to sleep until 2. Don’t even get me started on my best friend the nap. J’adore!

Asher is such a good boy. Everyone always comments on how happy he is, how great he does with people, how little he fusses when we are out and about. And they are right! He’s a happy guy. He loooooves people. He is so happy to be awake that he is the life of the party until he is exhausted and there is a fine, fine line. He just hates sleeping. He does not want to miss the action. Who knows what he thinks we are doing in the living room (answer: folding laundry; making dinner; trying to catch up on project runway) but he sits up for hours pondering this while screaming his head off. We are really struggling with sleep over here and it’s finally starting to break us.

Let me give you the backstory: When Asher was about 6-7 weeks old he started sleeping from about 11 or 12 until 6 or 7. That is what’s considered the very allusive Sleeping Through The Night. While he was still up more or less until 12am we didn’t know how good we had it. When we went to Florida at about 12 weeks he started waking up once a night, which we figured was due to unfamiliar surroundings but still completely manageable (continuing with with the 7p-12a fuss fest). Once we got home however he plunged right into a growth spurt and was up for hours every night just eating and eating and crying and crying from pure exhaustion.

Conveniently for Matthew he was in Chicago the whole time. When he returned the wakings didn’t stop, and Matthew’s work schedule was just as bad as if he was away, then he went away again. He was just up all the time, at all hours of the day and night crying and crying. I think part of this is that he refuses to nap outside the house. Its just sooooo exciting watching me drink coffee or waiting in line at the post office or walking through the supermarket (that one’s his fave) I mean normal babies sleep in the stroller or carrier right? I guess it could be worse. Some moms have kids who will ONLY sleep on walks or in the carrier.

Related aside: The other part is that he seemed to get really gassy lately and constantly needed to burp which had been waking him up every 15 minutes sometimes. He was obviously in pain so we talked to the pediatrician. She recommended giving him baby acidophilus so we started that anytime he had a bottle (every other day?) I read that dairy could be an issue so I cut down on dairy and it stopped immediately. I’m not going to get into that now but I think it did affect his sleeping for the better.

Last weekend Matthew was in Boston finishing up something like an 18 day work streak and I was home with the babe counting down the minutes until his blissful (for me) return and subsequent day off. Saturday night Asher screamed for most of his usual 7p-12a then woke up at 230a and would not go back to sleep. I tried everything. Rocking, nursing, swing, crib, bed, crying, shushing, sitting next to him, sitting in the other room, music, white noise, quiet, pretty much any and all combinations you could think of. I mean he wasn’t even crying most of the time. He was LAUGHING. (at me??) He was so happy to see me he just kept smiling and laughing. Both adorable and infuriating. I’d put him in the swing to settle him and he’d scream. Like wide open mouth no sound screams. My frustration level was about as high as it can get. At 5:30a I was at the end of my rope and I called Matthew in Boston for advice/complaining. When we were talking I realized it was the MORNING and he could just come home now! I said “Its the morning! Can’t you just come home now?” and he did. He got his ass up and showered and got on the next train and was home by 11:30a.

Well he ended up having the week off and we kicked it into high gear. More naps, longer naps. Oh you slept 45 minutes and you want to get up, too bad! Bedtime routine moved to 6, forcing Asher to spread out his nighttime feeds. On the first night we did this it was awful, on the second night he slept from 6:30p-1:30a straight for the first time ever. Since then he’s been asleep around 630p, up from 730p-930p crying and complaining but then out until 2am and up again around 630a. This crappy schedule is actually progress. We’re hoping the evening fuss fest gets shorter and shorter until he sleeps through that, then we will make a new goal.

We aren’t really getting much more sleep, I guess I could if I would go to bed at 9 but we’ve been eating at 9 since that’s when he usually falls asleep for real. I haven’t watched tv in weeks, just what I can manage on my computer so as to not wake the monster precious sleeping baby.

Some people say its a phase at 4 months due to all the learning and growing. Having the knowledge helps for sure, but does not make it any easier to wake up in the middle of my sleep cycle over and over again. I know he’s still a little dude, and one that’s breastfed. He’s going to need to eat in the middle of the night. That’s OK. This morning when Asher was up for the day at 5:15 after going back to sleep at 2:30 as Matthew put it “5:15 is not OK” Its not OK for him and its not OK for us. So we’ll keep at it.

I organized all these adorable baby clothes so many times and eventually washed all the 0-6 months and put them away in drawers. Lately I’ve slowly been putting the 0-3 months clothes back in the storage bin and putting him in some of the larger items.

Yesterday Matthew went to change him into something without barf on it and he came back in this warm and fuzzy, cuddly, snuggly, baby gap one piece that he hasn’t worn before.

My first thought was “YAY the legs are long enough.”

My second thought was “What is up with those shoulders?”

OH MY GOD THAT OUTFIT IS MEANT FOR A GIRL

I distinctly remember picking this up from (what I thought was) a unisex pile at the gap. It sure looks unisex in its brown/brown stripe glory but it is clearly not.

ahem…CLEARLY.

Doesn’t he look faaaabulous?

(psst-Dude. You are wearing girl clothes!)

“Woe is me” is right.

Anyone in the market for a 3-6mos velour one piece from baby gap organic?

I couldn’t bring myself to dress Asher up in something too goofy – the guy has a reputation to uphold you know.

So instead he was…I don’t know what you’d call it…an ex-con?

Classy

In any case he was comfortable on a warmish halloween day.

Ramona came over and we went to a little party with my moms group at one of the gal’s houses.

We tried to take a group photo and it was a total cluster and wow, I am really, really pale.

Her block was crazy. Everyone dresed up and stood outside handing out candy.

(Where can I get this Elvis costume for next year?)

It must be the place to go because exactly 1 person rang our bell all evening.

After the party Ramona and I watched Twilight (it’s halloweeny right?) and waited for trick-or-treaters. I guess we didn’t need the hemo sized candy bag from costco. Which I am never buying again because we are eating it all fun size piece by fun size piece.

Sorry little dressed up dudes. Next year you are getting pencils!

(since its a little too early for baby tylenol)

(kidding)

(kinda :/)

#1

The miracle blanket – This is the single item we cannot possibly live without. I have learned that if you think your baby does not like to be swaddled you are just doing it wrong. Honestly. At first we used blankets and no matter how tight, he got right out. I bought this on a whim before he was born and tried it out of desperation. Guess what, It really was a miracle! Yes it looks like a straight jacket but whatever, after a couple nights of no sleep you really stop caring. At some point we swaddled him in this then a regular blanket on top because we thought he was cold. Guess what we are stuck doing now.

#2

The swing – This is the second thing we are so glad to have around. He hated this at first. Once we realized to swaddle him before putting him in the swing it was great. So great in fact that he slept exclusively in this swing until last week. I definitely had thoughts that my 5 year old son would be sleeping in a swing but all of a sudden he kind of likes to sleep without moving so we’ve been transitioning him to the co-sleeper. Go figure. He still sleeps in the swing 1x-2x per day – usually at night when he is wide awake and we are not, or on a particularly fussy afternoon. This one was borrowed from friends so its awesome a++++ but if I had to buy one now I’d probably buy this crazy thing. When it comes to newborn related items the more crap it does the better. That’s my motto.

#3

Video Monitor – Speaking of doing more than one thing, I cannot imagine having a monitor without video.  I use this for every nap and very rarely turn the sound up, do you know why? Because babies make tons and tons of noise. I originally thought video is a novelty I didn’t need. Then I heard of people with 2 and 3 year olds using the video part to make sure their kids were in bed. Not to mention people with 1yr olds telling me they regretted not buying a video monitor and buying one now. Hmmm, so there you go. Babies make noises in their sleep. If you can’t see their eyes or if they need their soother put back in you will drive yourself crazy(er).

#4

Light Thingies – are these not adorable! I got them figuring that we’d use them as night lights at some point, never realizing that we would start on day 1. We each keep one on our respective nighttable and use them when we need to see what’s going on in the middle of the night. They charge up really fast and hold it for 8 hrs or something insane. We put them back on the base every few days. They are LED and never get hot. Just perfect in every way.