Dancing with the Stars starts September 20th.

Yipeeeee!

1st time on a carousel from bhkart on Vimeo.

I don’t know that he liked it but at least he didn’t cry.

After he mastered that we moved on to “all done” when he finished eating and he’s been using that a lot too.

This week’s project has been “more” and not just for food.

We  try to do it during playtime and while reading books, anything really. He’s catching on but still a little confused as to when he’s supposed to use it. Its thrown a wrench into his basic signing skills but i’m sure in a few days time he’ll pick it up and we can move on.

After about a zillion attempts I caught him on video tonight. Yes, he is signing for food when what he really meant was “I’ve had enough of this here chicken and would like the server to bring out my next course please”

Asher signs during dinner from bhkart on Vimeo.

Eh, close enough. Its a bit of a work in progress but its working! If you watch that video you’ll also get to see some of his smooth dancing skills and the funny way he tries to blow a kiss. From the top of his head.

Trying to decide what to tackle next. Maybe milk or water. If anyone has suggestions i’ll take em.

Last Saturday I met my friend Katie and her son Will at the farmer’s market for a stroll and a shop. We went over to the turkey guy and Katie told me all about this awesome turkey meatloaf she was going to make that evening. After thinking about it for 6 days straight we made it last night.

Delicious!

We made 1/2 recipe for us with plenty to freeze for Asher to eat later. Although I think we will make a smaller loaf/loaves with more glaze next time…and maybe caramelize the onions.

Ina Garten’s Turkey Meatloaf

(Don’t anyone sing lyrics from RENT! those are the worst)

me: I cannot get the “John the Rabbit” song out of my head

Matthew: Has it become a mighty habit

me: ha, yes

Matthew: yes, WHAT?

listen
Oh John the rabbit, yes ma’am
Had a mighty habit, yes ma’am
Of jumping in my garden, yes ma’am
My sweet potatoes, yes ma’am
My fresh tomatoes, yes ma’am
And if I live, yes ma’am
To see next fall, yes ma’am
I ain’t gonna have, yes ma’am
No garden at all. NO ma’am!

People are often surprised that we both work and have no nanny. We didn’t plan on it but at this point, 12 months into this parenting thing, we’re still rolling with it and figuring out what works and how long we can pull it off.

Before Asher was born I planned on taking about a year off. My job is hard. Its time consuming and stressful and I almost always have to travel. I worked my butt off for years to save enough money to not work for a year. Because of that I was one of the lucky few that didn’t worry about day care placement or nanny interviews during pregnancy or when I had a tiny infant. When a 6 week job offer came up last December I took it because I didn’t feel like I could turn it down, even though it wasn’t part of the plan.  We decided to look for a nanny then realized Matthew didn’t have work for much of January and decided to wait it out. It was only supposed to be 6 weeks.

I started working full time after the new year. Matthew was home with Asher and we had a few babysitters to call when Matthew worked outside the house.

We had a few bad days, as expected. My second day at work Matthew had a stomach virus and I had to go. We had no sitter yet so he had to take care of a 6month old between barfs. One time our sitter called in sick and I had to stay home, on just about the worst day possible – the day before a week long event in Barcelona. Luckily I had a very understanding team and really supportive coworkers. Matthew started working more and more, but timing on his jobs is often flexible and his outside work was not steady enough to hire a full time caregiver. I was still nursing, He just began to eat solids. I had my hand in everything from his nap schedule and daily activities to when and what he was eating. Without a full time nanny and the trust that comes with it, I had a lot of extra to-do’s while still working 60+hrs a week. To add to it I insisted on making all of his baby food when I got home at night. The entire experience was not without stress.

That first project ended up being 2 projects and went all the way through March. When it was over I had no other jobs planned. I decided that I wouldn’t look for work but if it found me I wouldn’t turn it down. I got a call mid-april to work part time for the month of May – from home- and jumped at the chance. I liked working and I worked at home for years so I really prefer it. On days Matthew was busy I got a part time sitter and it worked out perfectly. Some days I got to take Asher to music class in the morning, and then work all afternoon. Other days I had no deadlines so we’d go to the park or a playdate and I managed  to fit everything in during his naps and into the evening. It was hard. We got used to it. Matthew and I talked about part time day care in the fall or winter. It could be good for him, good for us. But I had no project booked and neither did Matthew and it seemed silly to put him in day care 2 days a week when I was sitting at home.

I started working again part time in July and this week I start full time through the middle of September. I interviewed 3 babysitters who each have flexible schedules and have been having them cover Matthew’s work days the past 2 weeks. They are all amazing – grad students and recent graduates who have fallen in love with Asher already.

We are talking again about a part time nanny who could do flexible hours or maybe even enrolling him 2 days a week in day care come January but we’re finding it hard to commit to the cost. Since we are both freelance its almost impossible to estimate if we have extra money in the budget each month, especially for something that is so significant. We are talking $1,000 a month for 2 days a week of care. Days one or both of us might be home for weeks at stretch.

At this point the current plan is for him to start pre-school when he turns 2 next fall – 2 or 3 mornings a week. In the meantime we do the juggle. We only get paid on the days we work and we have not yet turned anything down because of Asher. With no family around, and few other resources we make it work between the 2 of us, flexible schedules, amazing friends and co-workers and a couple of really alternative career choices. To me, its worth the $12,000 –  $28,000 a year we’d spend on part to full time care. Yes, employing a full time nanny costs more than my rent (read the article in the times I linked to at the top of the post). Yes, I am making about 1/2 to 2/3 as much as I did in the years prior to having Asher but since the economy is still sluggish I can’t guarantee that I can get more work this year or next.

Plus the more time I get with my boy the better. I happen to enjoy his goofy music class as much as he does.

When I say great fanfare, I mean it. The gang of nutters in my mom’s group decided to throw a baby toga birthday party in the park this weekend and it was a blast. Seriously, if you have to hang out with a bunch of babies all the time I highly recommend you do it with crazy people, it makes things much more fun.

Kerstin (Nate’s mom) is a graphic artist and designed this SERIOUSLY AWESOME banner of babies. Its a timeline by birthday and it is crazy adorable.

Bekki (Will’s mom) crafted 30 headband garlands for the little angels and Libby (Bryce’s mom) actually thought to bring a table. Go moms!

Luckily I put a white onesie on underneath as a modesty garment because Asher’s toga lasted about 3 minutes.

His head garland lasted around 15, maybe 20.

We did a lazy man’s pot luck meaning that people just brought whatever they felt like and it was perfect. We ended up with a lot of watermelon, pasta salad and booze but what more do you need on a 90 degree day?

Ya know, besides puffs.

So many babyfriends were there!

Olive

Hunter

Beatrix

Bryce

Will

Asher

Mason and Maya

Enna Rae

Gabriel

Nate

Delphine

We tried to do a group shot but everyone freaked the fuck out.

Yes, thats Asher crawling away from the hysteria. I plopped him down and in the 7 seconds he could not find me he started heading for the hills.

Things calmed down pretty quickly when he realized there was food and BALLS! and a whole park.

“THAT!”

All in all it was a pretty awesome day. I cannot WAIT for halloween with these guys.

Read about it here

Lee Pace from Pushing Daisies is cast and he’s one of my favorite favorites so that just makes it even more heart-burstingly exciting.

“To quote Neil Patrick Harris from the 2009 Tony Awards, “this show couldn’t get any gayer if Liza was named mayor”

Hells to the Yes! That sounds like my kind of programming.

very helpful from bhkart on Vimeo.